Want to Be More Successful in 2020? Brag More!

The self promotion gap hinders the success of women entrepreneurs from raising capital to grow their businesses.

I was literally conditioned to believe bragging was a “bad thing.” In my former days in corporate America, I made sure I was humble about my background, my upbringing and my education. I was afraid to share that I was the daughter of one of the first Caribbean women to make it to the top of Wall Street in the 1980’s. I was afraid to share that my aunt, my mothers sister, was a corporate buyer for the largest book retailer in the world — so I played average in the company of others.

A few years later, as I had some achievements of my own, I celebrated in my own silence. I felt isolated for my professional accomplishments, as I worked my way up the corporate ladder. In my last corporate job in 2003, I frequently went to lunch with my supervisor, and was labeled as the office “kiss ass.” What they did not know was I was being mentored to take over her position, so the “kiss ass” was about to become the “head ass in charge.” When the shift was announced, they started kissing my ass to keep their jobs. After I was offered the position, a few of my former co-workers claimed I was “bragging” about the promotion. In response — “I earned the right to brag.”

But it became clear that something needed to change. I had to continue to hold myself accountable for minimizing my own accomplishments. I could hear myself limiting my words so I could fit into average rooms, and join average conversations. When I left, I would beat myself up mentally for distancing myself from the things I worked so hard to accomplish — both academically and professionally.

When I started my company, bragging became my superpower! I did not do it as a way to put others down, but rather to highlight the choices I have made to separate myself from average and small businesses. Besides, when men brag and promote themselves, we celebrate them. No one ever says Mark Zuckerberg, Steve Jobs, Jeff Bezos, Warren Buffet, Bill Gates, etc are BRAGGING! We label them as legends, generous, successful, kind, and thought leaders.

I have a male friend, who owns a bakery, that was featured on the Oprah Show over 25 years ago, when he was a teenager. He continues to share his pictures and stories about meeting Oprah when he was 18 as though it was yesterday. You should see how his face beams with brightness when he gives you the exact play of the entire episode. Even more important, his bakery continues to shatter records with sales in the $10 MM range today as a result of his appearance over 2 decades ago. He brags and it still works.

I recently read a report called The Self Promotion Gap, which stated that [the] “majority of women (83%) have been inspired by hearing women talk about their successes and accomplishments, but 7 in 10 (69%) women would rather minimize their successes than tell people about them.” Forbes also recently mentioned that the self promotion gap hinders the success of women entrepreneurs from raising capital to grow their businesses. “The more impressive the founder makes herself out to be, the more likely she’ll be successful in raising the money she needs to scale,” according to Lisa Curtis of Forbes.

Today, I have no problem with introducing myself.

My name is Carol Sankar, and I am a successful real estate investor, writer and speaker, who has been featured on the Steve Harvey Show, the Today Show, Fast Company, Inc. Magazine, Realtor.com, Forbes, Entrepreneur Magazine, Glamour Magazine, O Magazine — just to name a new. Oh, and before I forget, I am an in demand speaker who has given talks at TEDx, Columbia Business School, The United Way, American Staffing Association, Facebook and Inc., with notable names such as Kevin O’Leary, Sara Blakely, Sheryl Sandberg, Jada Pinket Smith, among others.

AND I DON’T APOLOGIZE

I wear it as a badge of honor! It may sound intimidating to some, but my interpretation of the external value of introducing myself without shame or diminishing my value is that I have worked tirelessly for every label. I have sacrificed comfort, had to leave my family for weeks at a time, sacrificed vacations, isolation, worked though the death my both of my grandparents (who raised me) and most recently, my father, and even ignored my health at times, just to make my dreams a reality. So when I brag, there is more to the story that you don’t see.

What about you?

I want to give you the permission to shine your light much brighter. Speak about your successes and achievements, so you can take ownership of your own power. We create limitations on our value when we hide what we have done.

Stand up to that limiting belief in your mind that your accomplishments may not seem significant or relevant. More importantly, downplaying your success may be comfortable, but it is hurting your access to advanced opportunities.

Brag and celebrate yourself more!

. . .

Carol Sankar is a high level consultant and the founder of The Confidence Factor for Women in Leadership. She has been featured at TEDx, The Steve Harvey Show, Columbia Business School, The United Way and more. In addition, her work has been covered by Inc. Magazine, Glamour, O Magazine, Forbes, Harvard, Entrepreneur Magazine — to name a few. Carol is also a contributor for Inc., & Entrepreneur Magazine. For more details, visit www.carolsankar.com